No explanation necessary:
Silence of the Lambs the Lego Musical.
And then … If I Could Smell Her ….
October 6, 2008
“I Thought He was Going to Eat my Lips” [The Best of Online Writing I]
Not all political stories come flagged and armoured with a capital ‘P’. Here’s an indulgence: “Kiss of the Scorpion Woman”, without doubt one of our favourite features in years.
Oral sex. Paint by numbers. Prison marriage. Sex changes. Cooking. Castration. Crack. Cotton Panties. New York Poster Esther Haynes wrote a stunning story about the love affair between copycat Zodiac Killer Eddie Seda and pre-op transsexual/former gang member Synthia-China in Attica Keep reading →
October 6, 2008
Media Title-Fight: You say Darfur, I say Adorable
Apparently, there are not enough sexy, animal stories on Gavage. ”Till you have more animal stories, you’re not a real media player,” Anon wrote. Anon is right. Animal stories are a staple of big media. People love to read about kittens. Kittens are adorable (*OMG, *BARF, *LOL)!
Gavage has its own favourite animal stories, but they’re a little more ‘niche’. We like the “Man Kills Gay Dog” and “Horse Kills Baby” stories. The human element is important to us. Our favourites tend to be somewhat one-dimensional, and rather brief, and often conceptual.
They are summed up by that old media formula ‘X Vs Y’ [i.e. "Pensioner Struck by Bus" gets reduced to 'Man Vs Car']. These are Hemingway’s kind of animal stories [i.e. 'Old Man Vs Sea' – written in his favoured 'Noun Verb Noun' binary ad nauseum].
Gawker did a little better. They usually do.
Bird 1 : Fabio 0 March 30, 1999 (Image: AP Photo/The Virginian-Pilot, Steve Earley)
They ran a great fluff, list-driven feature on those aspirational moments “When Animals Attack Celebrities“. Puffin-slaying Gordon Ramsay made the chop Keep reading →
October 2, 2008
Advertising Genius: Sex, AIDS, Unicorns and Faye Dunaway’s Septum
We got invited to “Diesel’s Worldwide Dirty 30 Party”. In fact, everyone did. But the party can never live up to the SWF-embracing ad.
This is not your average invite. It reminded us of “The White Before Xmas Party” we neglected to go to at the start of the millenium. [If you've been in one club-raid, you've been through enough.] Razor blade designs on invites make our eyes bleed, and give us nightmares about jail-time and Faye Dunaway’s septum.
Where have Diesel been hiding? What happened to Keep reading →
October 2, 2008
“What Grazes on Vegas, Can Rot in Vegas”
The Age online ran a ’story’ on the weekend about Las Vegas, AKA “Hedonist Heaven”. Or maybe it didn’t. Next to the headline, near the ‘Email’ and ‘Print’ icons, there was a little font groaning the word ‘Advertisement’.
We’re not sure if ‘Advertisement’ was referring to something else on the page (it’s really that small, and really that detached), but the ambiguity was appropriate.
Hedonism at its Best (Image: Courtesy Las Vegas Tourist Authority)
Rob McFarland wrote that – contrary to what you might have heard – Vegas has:
… successfully shaken off its family friendly image of the ’90s, [and] is now an unashamedly indulgent playground for adults. Lured by the assurance that ‘What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas’, record numbers of people are coming to party.
“Shaken off its family friendly image?” How fortunate. And how fickle. Read this intro to Bob Bosch’s 2005 piece for Travel Guide Frommer’s:
Over the years Las Vegas tourism officials have spent a lot of money to convince travelers that their town was not only the perfect place for a bachelor party, a blow-out gambler’s weekend, and the ideal escape for the rich and reckless, but also a great destination for families.
So which is it: family-friendly, or hedonist heaven? Or is it both? And if it’s both is it okay if Keep reading →
October 5, 2008
Palin Gang-Raped by Comedy Routine – Doesn’t Feel a Thing
The Age online has reported (via AP, of course) on a development in the Sandra Bernhard Vs. Sarah Palin drama; or lack thereof.
“A women’s shelter today cut headliner comedian Sandra Bernhard from its annual benefit after she said Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin would be gang-raped if she ever visited New York.”
I think The Age was just happy to use the words “gang-rape” in a headline.
Sandra Bernhard – Lips of Steel (Image: Courtesy Drowned Paradise)
It has probably been a while. “Gang-rape” is the Google equivalent of a massive word-score in Scrabble. The word (and story) would never have seen the light of day if we weren’t all trapped in this sub-prime Vice-President crisis: Palin sells.
Sandra Bernhard is a great performer. Keep reading →
October 6, 2008
ABC to Replace Helen Razer with Ambient Noise From Margaret Olley’s Studio
We cringed too when we heard that ’interview’ between Helen Razer and Steven Berkoff. Because we love what Helen stands for, and we know the fine line she walks. When someone like her gets cut, everyone ’special’ bleeds. And today the ABC cut the bitch loose. Razer has been sacked.
The Fountain of all Future ABC Radio Arts Programs: Margaret Olley (Image: Brendan Esposito, courtesy The Age online)
We decided to post on the busy ABC Media Watch Message Board to show our support for her. Here’s an excerpt of us laying out the context:
Dogs, mushrooms and Radio National listeners might squeal at a few of [Helen's] more outlandish affectations, but for us it’s a relief to occasionally hear something other than calming ABC white noise.
And then a practical solution to the problem at hand:
Seriously, why not just go the whole hog – lipstick and all –and place a recording device in Margaret Olley’s studio already. You could then just run a live feed to fill ABC Arts air-time.
Maybe Margaret will knock over a pot of paint. What a thrill. All around Australia, cups and saucers – brimming with sweet tea – will collectively shudder. Exciting stuff, right?
We’re hopeful. Australian painter-of-pretty Margaret Olley may get a beige ABC Radio jersey yet.
Unfamiliar with the issue? Unaware of Razer’s oeuvre and style? We’ll try and explain. Keep reading →
January 2, 2009
Massive Vintage Sale
Hi Y’all.
I’m leaving Melbourne and am selling off parts of the archive .
1000s of vintage items on offer. Men’s, Women’s, Shoes, Jewelry, Belts, Gloves, EVERYTHING.
Also books, prints, furniture, kitsch, objects.
Drop me a line if you’re near Ivanhoe on Saturday the 3rd – Monday the 5th January 2009.
X AMK (0415 706 616)
October 25, 2008
They Shoot Homos Don’t They? #005 [NY Art Book Fair and Launch Party this week]
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THEY SHOOT HOMOS DON’T THEY?
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Whatever happened to positive people?
Did they disappear? Did they emigrate to that island everyone was talking about in the 80s? People want to know.
It’s time to take off the rubber gloves. It’s time to expose yourself to a positive world. Issue #005 of the man-friendly international art and culture journal They Shoot Homos Don’t They? is out now, and now ‘Positive’.
“But I’m all AIDSed out.”
Stop being so negative! Be positive instead.
Being positive is about more than just viral loads. It’s something everyone should aspire to. Studies show that being positive is actually infectious.
Back in the 90s Kenny Everett had the guts to say, “Yes, I’m positive, isn’t everyone?” He was wrong. The world is still full of negative people. But if everyone tries a little harder then we might all get positive a little faster.
Issue #005 of TSHDT? features A-list artists from around the world who get it, including: Dennis Cooper, David McDiarmid, Christian Holstad, Assume vivid Astro Focus, Robert Flack, AA Bronson and Terence Koh.
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NEW YORK ART BOOK FAIR
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Yes! Yes! Yes! TSHDT? will be previewing copies of TSHDT?005 at the New
York Art Book. The magazine will also be participating in QUEER ZINES
during the fair, an inclusive survey of over 100 publications by
independent publishers, curated by Philip Aarons and AA Bronson, with Alex
Gartenfeld.
Visit the TSHDT? stand and get infected.
New York Art Book Fair
24th – 26th October
Phillips de Pury & Company, 450 West 15th Street, New York City, NY, USA
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NEW YORK CITY LAUNCH PARTY
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TSHDT? invites you to come at Trophy and listen to residents Merkin Muffly
and Funbags spin the positive message: with special guest Helen from OMG
Michelle. Booze giveagays and dance dance dancey dancers.
Wednesday 29th October, 9pm – late
Trophy Bar, 351 Broadway, Brooklyn, NY, USA
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www.theyshoothomosdontthey.com
www.nyartbookfair.com
adam@theyshoothomosdontthey.com
info@theyshoothomosdontthey.com
October 7, 2008
McCain’s Ex-Wife: The Next Frida Kahlo?
We all love a tabloid unveiling. How did we miss this?
For nearly 30 years, Carol has maintained a dignified silence about the accident, McCain and their divorce. But last week at the bungalow where she now lives at Virginia Beach, a faded seaside resort 200 miles south of Washington, she told The Mail on Sunday how McCain divorced her in 1980 and married Cindy, 18 years his junior and the heir to an Arizona brewing fortune, just one month later.
October 6, 2008
Be Lazy and Know Everything
A dignified Monday routine is important. It should include something cultural.
Wake up, inhale some coffee, sip on a few Benson & Hedges, and scour all the international papers. But don’t bother getting them delivered. Every Monday the Arts Journal sends through an email-digest full of the Culture Club’s greatest media hits.
Loud, confident, and savvy; it makes us lazy but happy.
Subscribe to Arts Journal here if you want to stay on top. Here’s what it looked like today (the first seventh anyway):
October 6, 2008
Turning Mammon into Molehills
You should heart Lewis Lapham. He’s heartable.
The Editor Emeritus for Harper’s [and their "Notebook" columnist still], Lapham is also a wonderful satirist. And fond of the word “Mammon”.
Lewis in the Fog of Love. His new publication, Lapham's Quarterly, is worth picking up if you're interested in back-stories of a historical bent. (Image: Gawker)
Australians can find out about these rare creatures [satirists] on wiki. We have few of our own, which is strange. You might even like to try some crisp Saki [sic.] if you’re so inclined.
Lapham, like Gavage, is an unabashed smoker. And contrary to popular opinion, they do have ashtrays in heaven – Louden Wainwright III was correct.
Lapham’s most recent triumph was “Elegy For A Rubber Stamp” in Harper’s. He gets real about American broadcaster Tim Russert, the late host of Meet The Press.
Highlights? Lapham picking the stitches out of the spectacle. An orchestra played “Over the Rainbow” at the funeral, and a real rainbow was nice enough to drop by after the funeral.
Later that night on MSNBC’s rebroadcast of the proceedings, Olbermann reported the rainbow as no coincidence. “I know that was Russert,” he said. “I’d recognize him anywhere.”
With Olbermann it’s sometimes hard to know when or if he’s attempting a joke, but if he was joking, at whom or at what was the joke directed? Certainly not at rainbows; probably not at God. Keep reading →
October 6, 2008
How Far Can You Bounce?
The Sydney Morning Herald enjoyed reprimanding foreign teenagers the other morning for cheering a jumper to their death at a Westfield shopping centre in Derby, England. That must have been a challenging editorial meeting.
The Daily Mail online, in the UK, went a step further. Their book-length headline read: “‘How far can you bounce?’: The extraordinary taunts of sick ghouls who jeered as a teenager leapt to his death.” That sounds like a Coen brothers film.
But good on the media for getting stuck into people for cheering on a jumper, and hating on those people disgusting enough to exploit the lives of others [note: The crowd was taking photos and video on their phones].
Pat yourself on the back with your clean, soapy hand Mr. Media. And use the bloody other one to shield your eyes.
This very issue cropped up during an interview between humanitarian and performance artist the Divine David (David Hoyle) and Jonathan Coleman some years ago. Sitting in The Colony Room, David spoke straight from his black heart on the subject of exploitation:
That live suicide on American TV recently – when the chap set his jeep on fire with a dog inside then got out and turned the rifle on himself and blew his head off… Maybe television became relevant for a few moments. Nobody came to help him, just to watch. When he blew his brains out they couldn’t believe how lucky they were.
Pause for thought. Then proceed to the whole interview here.
